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A Friendship That Crossed Borders

Some friendships are loud and obvious. Others are quiet, rare, and so genuine that you only realize their value when life tests you. This is about one of those rare friendships. She came all the way from Indonesia to Singapore just to see me and that alone says more than a thousand words ever could. In a world where people are always busy, always rushing, always distracted, finding someone who makes time for you feels almost unreal. Genuine friendship is hard to find. The kind that lasts forever is even harder. Most people don’t have time to listen. They hear you, but they don’t listen. But she listens, always. With patience. With care. Without judgment. Most people don’t want to help. They step back when things get hard. But she steps forward every single time. Helping not because she has to, but because she genuinely wants to. She is one of the kindest people I know. I once said that I have a wall around my life, a wall that protects me and keeps people at a distance. Not many can...
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Say "Please Forgive Me," not "I'm Sorry"


A relationship without arguments is not a real relationship. Argument often happens because of misunderstandings. This is very true in our relationship and I’m sure ours is not the only one. The toughest part of every argument is what happens after. How do we reconcile? Who to talk first? What to say?

Before getting married, we attended our pre-cana. For those who don’t know what a pre-cana is, it is a course or consultation for couples preparing to be married in a Catholic church. Our wedding priest told us that instead of saying “I’m sorry”, tell your spouse “please forgive me”.

What is the difference between “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me”?

The easier way to ask for forgiveness is saying “I’m sorry”. But are you really asking for forgiveness or you’re just saying it to get the apology over with? Saying “I’m sorry” has no feel of sincerity on it. Actually, it asks for nothing and there is no feeling of atonement or acceptance of fault.

On the other hand, saying “please forgive me” is sincerely asking for forgiveness. It has compassion, humbleness and most important is the acceptance of mistake committed. It is a harder way of asking for an apology but a more sincere way.

I just want to share with you how my husband and I settle every after argument. If there is a time that we’ve got into a situation that we have a misunderstanding, whether it is big or small, intentional or unintentional, and then we came to a point that we don’t talk. If my husband or I admitted the mistake (fyi, usually my husband is at fault) we usually say “Please forgive me” and the other one responds “I forgive you”. Guys remember, it should be uttered with the look in the eyes to see how sincere your partner is. I know it’s corny to imagine, but it works for us for many years now. When those words had already been said, there is no more anger, bwisit feelings with each other. It’s like nothing had happened.

Anyway, those words are not only needed to be said, but couples also need to discuss what was the source of the problem, how it became wrong or how did it hurt your partner, and most especially what the solution is so that it won’t happen again.

not I'm sorry


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