The Words We Say are Important

The words we say...

“Speak out in anger and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” One of my friends posted this statement from Tara Brach. I found it very interesting because every one of us at least once (many for me) has this experience of saying things that we don’t mean and ended up regretting every word we said.

When we are angry do you think the truth comes out or we just said things that we don’t mean?

Both can be true, but in most cases it is the latter.

Sometimes, when we are angry, our emotions get the best of us and our mouth becomes an open gate to say everything that we’ve been keeping for so long. These are the “painful truths” that only come out when we are angry. Our anger fuels our courage to say what has been bottled up inside. However, after bursting out all our anger, it is impossible to erase those words and feelings that have been revealed.

Everybody say stupid things when angry. Most of the times when we are angry we say things that we don’t really mean. It is just to get even and piss off the other party. We say words that can hurt a person even though they are not true. We say words that are very insulting, degrading and very much unacceptable.

Us women, we like to talk, we like to nag and I hate to admit it, but we like to control things. The thing that makes us angry the most is when a person doesn’t listen. That’s an art that was mastered by my husband. Whenever we quarrel, he just keeps quite and stares to space. After I finish all the nagging, he just goes back to his normal life as if something did not happened. He just sits down the couch, gets the remote and starts flipping on channels. And that makes me very irritated! Don’t get me wrong, he does apologize. He waits for the situation to calm down then he makes he’s move. He has this knack not fighting fire with fire. Come to think of it, that works for us. When we are angry, we don’t think and don’t control our emotions. Harsh words slip out and we end up regretting every word we blurted out. The problem is it’s too late. Words once said cannot be unheard and very difficult to take back.

When we are angry, these are some few reminders to think about and what has to be done so that misunderstandings can be taken under control.

1. Listen to understand not to respond.

2. Better to be quiet and let the moment cool down before saying anything.

3. Take a walk so you can release your anger and think things.
4. Change your focus from anger to other productive things like cleaning the house.

5. When words had been already said, don’t forget to ask for forgiveness.